"You owe yourself to be yourself"

A popular tradition for couples on Valentine's Day is to go out to enjoy dinner or send love reminders with balloons, red roses or heart-shaped cards. Although in the bottom of my heart I love these customs, because, what woman doesn’t like romance expressed in this way? The reality is that sometimes, the only thing that love needs to flourish is to set aside a moment for both to be PRESENT, forgetting time, to do’s, and electronic devices for a little while.

There is no perfect relationship, after all, perfection is subjective, isn’t it? What does exist are relationships of spiritually connected beings where they are united by their beliefs and practices and therefore their capacity for intimacy is limitless.

My gift to you in the month of love is a tantric ritual to ignite the purest fire between you and your partner. You do not need to buy anything or go to a fancy restaurant. You just need to open up to try new things (however rare they sound at first) and leave prejudices aside.

If you are curious and you’re already down the path of the rabbit’s hole, you most likely have heard about the famous eastern practices of Tantra. Tantra, from Sanskrit, "is a philosophy whose purpose is to get to know more about oneself through sexuality, love, meditation, joy, and the art of beauty." The term is derived from the word tanoti which means expansion and trayati which means liberation. Tantric practices explore the subtle energies within the body and its connection to the Universe, providing the opportunity to reach a higher and more intense form of ecstasy.

The Tantric Yoga Soul Gazing is a fantastic ancient practice for connecting at the level of your and your partner’s soul. This is considered as a path to enlightenment, helping to open non-verbal communication channels and create an energetic connection between the people who practice it.

Prolonged eye contact can be a challenge for many. However, the result of immersing yourself in this exercise of observing the soul of someone else creates a space full of love that can open new doors to the deepest intimacy you’ve ever dreamed of.


Prepare a sacred space

The space where you’ll perform the ritual should be neat and clean, this is key before starting any tantric practice. Decorate it with plants, flowers or any object that has a special meaning to you. Light some candles that provide natural light and play your favorite music. Place some cushions on the floor and a blanket or rug if the floor is not very comfortable. If you have any energetic cleaner such as copal or palo santo, use them to purify the space.

Just Relax

Before starting the exercise, take time to get in the mood. Bathe with hot water, read a book, or do anything that relaxes you and makes you forget about everyday life.


1. Take a few minutes to stretch and relax the muscles. Then, sit face to face with your partner on easy pose (legs crossed) or kneeling. Place your hands on prayer pose next to the heart and both repeat the sacred greeting "Sat Nam" from Sanskrit which means "truth is my essence" or "true identity".

2. Share your intentions and wishes for this practice. You decide what intention you want to establish before starting, don’t overthink and try to be as sincere as possible.

3. Place the palm of your left hand upwards and the palm of your right hand downwards and join them with your partner's palms.

4. Close your eyes and breathe deeply. Feel and listen to your thoughts. Become aware of any physical tension or feelings you have, accept them and let them go. Continue to breathe deeply and focus on having long and slow inhalations and exhalations.

5. When you feel your thoughts are fading, send a signal to your partner by squeezing the hand or touching a shoulder without opening your eyes, to inform him/her that you have reached a state of relaxation. Wait until he/she answers back and, when both are ready, open your eyes slowly.

6. Start looking into each other's eyes trying not to get distracted from the gaze. Usually, it is recommended to look at the left eye because this side is more receptive for being the female side, but if you feel the need to look at the other eye do it. The important thing is to focus all your attention on the eyes of your partner, being opened and curious as a child.

7. Continue breathing deeply, synchronizing both breaths and step by step you’ll let yourself get trapped by the moment. Feel the intimate connection with the other while all your thoughts, worries, and discomforts disappear. The past is gone and the future does not exist, only this moment matters.

8. The stillness of your gaze will make your mind go silent. There will be a point where you’ll stop feeling your body and thoughts and without knowing how or why, you will have an encounter with your soul and your partner’s soul. Surrender to this intimate and unique experience.

You can practice this ritual for as long as you want. At the beginning it’s going to be difficult for you to look at your partner’s eyes fixedly without becoming distracted and without looking away. You may laugh out loud or feel very embarrassed. It doesn’t matter, if this happens, take a rest for a few minutes. Synchronize your breath with your partner’s breathing and start over. Once you catch the trick, you won’t want to stop doing it.

The staring of someone else’s eyes is an easy practice to do yet very powerful at the same time. An experience where your eyes become the windows to your soul opening the doors to your truth and transforming the meaning you have about who you really are. When this is done before and during the sexual act, the spiritual and sexual connection between couples can be greatly improved by making love to become a powerful meditation capable of transcending the ego and awakening new levels of consciousness.

Nothing that I explain to you with words will make you understand what you’re going to feel. This is something that you have to experience and that you shouldn’t wait for anyone to tell you.

Happy Valentine's day!

"Tantra is a pathway, not just to sexual ecstasy but to personal healing and fulfillment"


By Fabiola Márquez

Creative Director | WARIMBA

Article written for Mia Astral's Blog. To read the original article in Spanish click the following link: http://miastral.com/ritual-tantrico-para-hacer-en-pareja/